Mile High Sci-Fi: Masters of the Universe
120 Minute Running Time
Friday & Saturday, February 19 & 20 at 8pm
The world is teeming with toys based on movies. Just ask any diabetic child with his face stuffed in a supersized Happy Meal and they will tell you – movies make for good toys. And that theory has generated zillions of dollars for the toy and movie industries and fueled generations of kids’ insatiable appetites for Star Wars Lego sets and Nemo nightlights. So wouldn’t the reverse be true? If movies yield good toys, then toys must yield good movies, right? Who wouldn’t want to go see the Attack of the Giant Rubick’s Cube or Slinky Does Dallas? Let the dollars roll in!
Not so fast Tow-Mater.
Turns out that sometimes toys DO get turned into movies; problem is, those movies usually suck. (See: Joe, GI). What?! You mean A Cabbage Patch Christmas got passed over for an Oscar!!?? No way!!!
But one thing that good-toys-turned-terrible-movies ARE good for is being thrown on the BBQ by the terrible-movies-turned-hilarious-shows folks at Mile High Sci-Fi, as evidenced by this month’s screening of Masters of the Universe. MOTU stars Dolph Lundgren; a man only slightly more intelligent than the action figure his character is based on. The plot is simple: Skeletor steals the Cosmic Key and breaks into Castle Grayskull and imprisons a sorceress with an energy field. He Man tries to rescue her but the Cosmic Key sends him to Earth where they must battle to get it back and return to the Castle before Skeletor sucks all of the Sorceress’s power - you get the point. It is basically like finding the journal your older brother kept during one of his acid trips.
Shockingly, after the film was released, sales of MOTU toys fell faster than He-Man crashing to Earth, the sequel was cancelled and everyone pretended it all never happened. Even more shocking: Hollywood still tries to turn toys into movies. Fool me once shame on you... See you this weekend.