Mile High SciFi: Big
120 Minute Running Time
Long before Tom Hanks started taking himself WAAAAY too seriously and decided that everything he touched was Oscar-worthy, he cut his hair really short on the sides, but left it long and curly on top, and filmed the notorious film "Big." (Hey big-shot important film Actor Man, we're not stupid. We all remember Bosom Buddies and Turner and Hooch so quit acting like you're all that, you volleyball loving douche bag)
Big is about a little boy who wishes he was big, and his wish comes true and then his clothes don't fit and his mom freaks on him and then he gets a job at a toy company and tap dances on a big piano at FAO Schwarz which made their stock jump ten dollars in opening week. Yes, it is adorable. Yes, we all loved it. Yes, it is one of your sacred childhood memories and yes, you are going to feel guilty as hell laughing your big butt off when we lampoon it this weekend. But your guilt will be instantly erased when you remind yourself that he was also partially responsible for the time you wasted watching Money Pit and You've Got Mail.
Karma is a bitch, Tommy boy.
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